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As wornout said, his BPD is no excuse for mental abuse. This man needs professional help, and if he refuses to seek professional help then for the sake of your own mental health get out of there. A BPD can drag you down to depths you never imagined. They can be an extreme drain and extremely tiring with the emotional rollercoasters, neediness, and irrational anger. If he's willing to seek help and keeps at it then odds are things will start to get better. If not, his pattern of behavior will continue indefinitely. If he won't seek help, leave for your own good.

I still have little spats with my fiance. I still get unnecessarily snippy with him. I still fly into violent rages at the drop of a hat, from time to time. However, after years of on and off therapy and medication, I've gotten a pretty firm grip on myself. In turn my fiance remains supportive. I make a conscious effort not to be an emotional drain on him. I can recognize several of my BPD behaviors and get them under control quickly, often before he even notices there was a "problem". Before a proper diagnoses and proper therapy I was far more manipulative and angry than I could even pretend to be now. A relationship with me at that time would have been impossible. I threw things, broke things, punched holes in walls, broke windows, and you should see how many dents I've kicked into my car. I'd scream and rage for no reason or over little things. For any BPD, especially those that aren't as high functioning as I am right now, therapy is not an option, it's a necessity.