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Who doesn't want to be saved? As a borderline you are constantly drowning in yourself and the only solution seems to be a savior. While living for someone else is constantly draining and the fear of abandonment indescribably painful, it's usually just worse if you aren't. Without someone you always feel lost, confused and generally miserable.

There can be a balance between the two. I'm sure most borderlines have been there even if fleetingly. By no means is this a happy place but it's useful when you need to be independent and productive. I'm in process of retraining myself after being out of practice for a while. So far this is what I've got.

-Keep your heart in a cage. Meaning don't let it attack any person that comes along. If you do find yourself falling for someone, keep it in your heart and your head like us borderlines can be so great at doing. In fact an obsession with no hope of going anywhere can be good. It's a decent outlet for the built up feelings and relentless daydreams. HOWEVER, it is careful to be extremely selective. I've seen myself through enough obsessions (I know the word makes you cringe but *shrug* who are we kidding? "crush" just doesn't cut it for borderlines :P) to know that if you are going to have someone on your mind ALL the time it should probably be a health nut with a giant vocabulary and some encouraging words cause lets face it, we can be play dough and if we leech on to someone with bad habits we're screwed.

-Be quiet. Don't form any new relationships. We put all that we have into whatever is going on in our lives at the moment. The only way to get anywhere as a borderline is to invest in something with a future. You can build a life but not by moving from relationship to relationship. Keep in mind any relationship can get out of hand whether its love, friend to friend, or student to teacher.

-Poor your excessive feelings into music or writing. It's all about finding things that aren't self-destructive. Sometimes my thoughts won't shut up and distracting myself becomes impossible. When this happens I turn on some music to fit my mood and I either sit and let my thoughts run wild for a couple of hours or I exercise until I'm too exhausted to feel much at all lol. I do love to write but I realize it's definitely not for everyone.

-Educate yourself. Reading is an amazing escape. I don't care what anyone says if you are borderline you need to read.

-If you feel yourself swirling around the drain of severe depression you can always get angry instead. It takes practice but it happens naturally after a while. I realize this might sound unhealthy but after a lifetime of BPD I certainly know which I like better.

-Moderation can become a huge problem and I have pretty much given up on it. If there's alcohol I'll drink it all, if there's cake I'll eat it. Simple solution, don't have it around.

-False hope will always torment us. I think it's addictive to think "Maybe somebody will save me tomorrow." Really keeps the daydreams alive and motivates you when you get discouraged. I just try to direct it somewhere it's useful to me liiike "Someday I'll be happy if I keep doing _____"

In the end I just think being borderline means we have too much thought and feeling inside of us. We look for someone to give a piece of ourselves to who can help carry the weight. But people strong enough capable of doing this are rare so we have to find ways of carrying it on our own even if it means being bitter and cold because if we don't we'll end up taking endless abuse, spiraling out of control, and probably destroying ourselves if someone else doesn't beat us to it.